"Finding strength beyond my own."
I couldn't help but think about my brother and the strength I have to deal with his death. Lets go back to the beginning. At first I think I was just on an adrenaline rush and I couldn't sit still because the moment I did I would think about it. There was a point about a month after it happened that I started struggling with it. During a period of about 3 months I tried to go through it on my own, so in some ways I turned away from God and I didn't find that strength. I wanted it to just go away, I didn't know why it had to happen to me and I didn't think it was fair. If I did pray, I prayed for my struggles to just go away, for it to not really be true. It didn't work. It wasn't until someone confronted me and called me out on my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I realized that they didn't leave me, but I left them.I started changing what I was doing, so that I could feel God and Jesus Christ back in my life. My prayers changed, they were more sincere and I realized that just because my brother died and everything else that was going on, didn't mean God didn't love me. In fact it showed God's love for me. He knew I could handle it and that I would learn a lot from these challenges. And this is what I learned.
"O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people." -Alma 31:31
Alma didn't pray for His afflictions to go away, but instead prayed for strength to deal with His afflictions. I started to pray for the strength to go through what I was going through, and miraculously my life changed drastically. As I access the enabling power of the Atonement, my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ starting growing and becoming stronger and stronger. I started feeling happier and feeling the joy that comes from following Christ. There are days that I know I wouldn't make it through without the strength of Christ.
"..and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ..." -Alma 31:38
I know that we all can experience the enabling power of the Atonement, and receive strength to deal with the afflictions that can help us become the people that our Heavenly Father knows we can be. I encourage all to find strength beyond your own! I can promise as you do, you will feel the enabling power of the Atonement and feel the love that your Heavenly Father and Savior have for you.
1 comment:
I think that this is one of the greatest lessons that we have to learn here on earth, that we have to rely on the Lord. All throughout life we all receive opportunities to learn and re~learn this lesson I definitely know that I have. Thank you for sharing your experience, it's a great inspiration to see someone humble themself and do what is right even though it's not easy. =)
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