Fighting with Satan

I feel like when good things are happening Satan tries even harder to get us down. He tries to discourage us by making us feel worthless and that nothing we do is good enough.

Guess what? I have been fighting with Satan and he has been getting to me a lot lately! I hate to admit this but the last few days I feel like my hope has been slowly diminishing. I miss my brother so much that I have feelings of anger and sadness. I have so many irrational thoughts about other family members dying. Even the words of what happened with my brother play over and over in my head. These thoughts then turn into my dreams when I sleep, leading to my tiredness and never actually wanting to go to sleep. The more tired I am, the grumpier I am.

Yesterday was one of those days I woke up in a bad mood. And my bad mood continued on and effected others. (Which I am sorry for that.) At a certain point in the day all I felt like doing was to cry! Of course being a missionary there isn't really time to feel sorry for yourself. (Even though that is what I wanted to do.) There are people that we needed to visit to help them become closer to their Heavenly Father! At the moment I wasn't sure that I could help anyone else because I felt like I couldn't even help myself. (I learned though as we help others it also helps ourself.) So we went to see this sweet lady that we are helping her learn english by reading The Book of Mormon together. As we read I started feeling the spirit again. I started feeling the love of my Heavenly Father again. A verse that hit me the most as we were reading is:

1 Nephi 3:7
I ^awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no ^bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall ^cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

I was reminded that my Heavenly Father is aware of the things I am going through, but just because He is aware doesn't necessarily make it easier, it just gives me that comfort to know that I won't go through anything that Heavenly Father won't prepare a way for me to be able to.

I know that the things I am experiencing are hard. There are days I just really want to give up, but I am grateful for those around me that have shown me their love and support to me even in the moments when I don't recognize it or accept it. I am grateful for the scriptures in my life because I know they are from God and as I read them I feel the love of God. I am grateful for my Savior and all that He went through so he could always comfort us and know how we feel.

2 Nephi 2:11 "For it must needs be, that there is an ^aopposition in all things." but in those times of opposition we are told in John 14:18 "I will not leave you ^acomfortless: I will ^bcome to you."

In hard times we got to remember good times and let those around you help you.